Friday, April 15, 2011

The tears are so easy to start, but it's so hard to stop


Home :) Mawaddah just now was okay. Something like boring, well I'm not used to this kind of mawaddah. Weird. I don't know, but it's freaking freak? Well this is the first mawaddah since I been here. The things flow with the speech from Bonda. She keeps telling the parents about form 1, form 2 and form 4's result -.- It's menurun. Okay fine, we knew it already. Well I don't even care about our average result. I just care about my OWN RESULT. Nak tahu? Haha I'm so grateful sebab aku dapat 82 :) You know, the ranking lah ;)

It's Intan's ranking. The third class :) Before I know my ranking, the boys kept telling me the fake stories -.- They said 'ranking dah keluar ranking dah keluar' but when I went there to see my ranking, it was a lie. The boys were so bangang, and I hate them -___- They've made me anxious -.- Bongok. Haih keluar semua benda mengarut. Padan muka. Siapa suruh tipu. Guys, yesterday was a bad day. I don't know, but I'm totally sad. But I just kept it to myself. Uh, nowadays, I always keep things in. I mean, alone. You know?

No one know about my problems, my things, everything. They didn't even want to know btw. So here it is. It has exploded. Just like gunung berapi. Dah penat dengan semua ni. I've a friend. A bestfriend actually. We knew each other for more than a year. And I love her. Freaking much. But I just don't understand, recently, she was different. Not like before. The person who used to text me at night, during me, myself, alone at boarding school and when I'm home like today. I don't know whether it was me who's too emotional or whatsoever.

Okay let's get clear. Err I've deleted all things that I supposed to write. I just don't want to hurt her and her. They've their own right to do whatever, to be whatever. I'm no one to them. I'm just a tissue that's used to wipe things, and being thrown into the rubbish. That's just me. Till here.

Love, huda.


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